Like many people, you may be asking, how can I end my cycle of unhealthy relationships and find a partner that suits me?
You have most likely been on the merry-go-round of relationships that start to have the same flavour:
Starting off with fiery mutual attraction but then one partner becomes ambivalent, cold or dismissive
Explosive attraction that becomes more about drama and chaos than intimacy as time goes on
Being consistently attracted to unavailable partners
Many of us struggle with meeting the perfect match… the one that we are meant to be with… the person we can create a life with. What are the factors that allow us to magnetize such a person into our lives? And, perhaps just as importantly, what are the dynamics that prevent us from allowing ourselves to find and create healthy relationships with that person?
Eventually it just doesn’t seem like enough to take the well-meaning, easygoing advice of friends and family: “Just find someone and give them a chance, even if you’re not attracted to them, “ “You just need to get out more,” “You need to choose people who are more available.” Obviously, if it were that simple, you would have done it already!
Fear of Intimacy
The invitation is to dig deep and discover if you have an underlying fear of intimacy. A fear of intimacy can exist in you even if you are convinced that every fiber of your being is desperate to find that perfect lover. It is the hidden energy that creates the “chemistry” and charge you feel when you meet that unavailable person. It is the uncomfortable, but familiar dynamic of yearning for someone who doesn’t return the same feelings. It is the cycle of hope and hopelessness that plays out in your life again and again.
What is the cure for fear of intimacy? It requires self-reflection and exploration, and also attending to the needs of the child you were. That child did not get their needs met, and it is necessary to be present for this inner child and those needs today. These needs do not always get met in intimate relationships as we hope, and they are so young that they are not actually calmed or nurtured by adult sexual energy, no matter how much we try. If you live in this child day to day, you require help and guidance from someone who can provide more of a healthy adult perspective, because it is impossible for the child to grow himself up on his own. That is why you may sometimes find yourself in relationships where one partner parents the other. These relationships often lose their passion in lieu of this parent/child dynamic, because the inner child will always emerge in the attempts to get her needs met.
Heal the Heart
The Orphaned Heart workshop is specifically designed for those of us who experience cycles of overgiving more love than we receive. For those of us with issues of abandonment, it invites us to see how we continue the abandonment cycle within our own life and outlines specific steps to change that energy. We learn actual, experiential hands-on skills to comfort and nurture ourselves, reference our own needs and change how we feel. It is helpful for those who struggle with love addiction and losing themselves in relationships.
The Energy Essentials course is designed to give you the skills to hold yourself no matter what is occurring in your world. These skills help you to stay grounded and clear so that you can reference and then provide for your own needs.
These courses offer completely different but totally compatible material and are recommended for anyone seeking healthier, co-empowering relationships.